Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Personal Victory & 5 Things I'm Proud Of

Welcome to August. I have now officially blogged regularly for an entire month! That is more than ever before in my previous blogging attempts. Pride!

In honor of the milestone, I give you 5 Things I'm Proud Of

1) Munch. Is this too cliche for a mother to say? I don't care. I'm sure there are some mothers who aren't proud of or about their children. My pride for Munch is complex. I'm proud each time he crosses a developmental milestone. I'm proud when he drinks from his sippy. I'm proud when he doesn't cry when I drop him off at day care.

2) My mother-self. But I'm also proud of the mother I am. I didn't know how I would be at this mothering thing. Generally, I'm a pretty lazy person; I have to force myself to work out. I like to watch TV. I like to have quiet time. I like to sleep. These are all things that do not necessarily mesh with motherhood. But I was pleasantly surprised to find how every second I spend with Munch feels precious and full. I may not have a lot of "street smarts," math skills, or even common sense. But I am overflowing with love, and if nothing else, Munch will grow up knowing his mother loves him deeply and completely.

3) My marriage. (Hm, these things are all starting with M.) I haven't had the best models for marriage, in fact, marriage scared me for a long time. I could not love Hubs more 10 years into being with him. I feel we talk openly, respect each other, and still know how to laugh together. I hope this more than anything will help Munch to feel secure and like the world holds possibilities for wonder.

4) My evolving mindset. I'm working hard to stop feeling so anxious, guilty over things I have no control over, crazy for control, and judgmental of people who act differently from me. It's a process, and some days I do better than others. But I want this, badly, and I won't stop.

5) My work. Do I want to work outside the home full-time? No. Do I have to? Yes. Am I good at it? Yes. If I'm being honest, I find fulfillment in editing. I just wish I could find that fulfillment for 20 hours a week.

Here's to more personal growth and taking pride in every accomplishment, big, small, round, or tall.

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