Horn Tooting Time: One Month of Tracking!

I have officially completed one entire month of tracking everything I ate, every day, all day. I truly can't remember the last time I did this and I question if I ever really have. There was that January before we went to St. Lucia, when I lost 20 lbs after the holidays LOL ... but I can't remember if I just was "on points" that whole time or really tracked it all.

Regardless, this is a very big accomplishment for me.

I'd like to say that I'm feeling confident, and I am--but to a point. I keep waiting for the "thing that will break this." I keep waiting for my mind to pop out of the mindset, for this to become hard again...

Because, I hesitate to say this, but this is the "easiest" this has felt to me since my first year on Weight Watchers, the big year, when it all came off the first time. I used to say it was easy, it FELT easy, and then I would look back on that time and think "How could I have ever thought this was easy?? It is impossible." But now ... I don't have cravings. I don't feel urges like I used to. I turn from pizza and office bagels and Boston creme pie without a pang and actually with a bit of DISDAIN.

It's not that I've given up sugar--far from it. I have three mini Heath bars every day. I use (a lot of) International Delight in my coffee most mornings. I eat baked chips and my might-as-well-be-candy-bars protein bars for breakfast. I just feel ... settled. It's a very odd feeling for me to feel, after years of fighting and struggling.

And of course, me being me, I worry it will end.

The holidays loom, but at this point, I don't even ... care? I think of Christmas cookies and big dinners and I don't feel tempted or worried. We'll see how I feel in 3 months, but I plan to continue tracking through it all.

I have had three big losses on the scale in a row, so I am braced for a smaller one or no loss tomorrow, but I will know it's because of my body, not because of any "cheat meals" or something. We haven't eaten out in the past month except: 2 Panera meals; 1 Subway meal; and 1 Chopt meal. Wow! Another huge accomplishment. I'm feeling happy in the kitchen. Our grocery budget has swelled ... but I am happy to be cooking at home again.

And I realized ... Munch is still young enough that I can change his perception of how we eat at home. It doesn't have to be that he looks back and remembers us constantly eating out. Rather, he can remember his mom cooking tons of home-cooked meals and that eating out was a treat.

So I'm very proud of myself. I'm riding in the zone. I know that I'm ultimately in control. In some ways I think "what is HAPPENING??" but then I put my head down and keep forging on!