5 Big Thoughts

I've had "blog writer's block" this past week. Usually, a topic will strike me (often, the title comes to me first, when in other writing I can't think of a title to save my life), and off I'll go, the words just pouring out. Most of my posts are free-writing, without a ton of editing involved.

This week, though, nothing. I don't know why, but I have an idea. I've been thinking BIG THOUGHTS, so in some ways I think my little slice-of-life thoughts can't come through. So, here are 5 Things That Are on my Mind.

1) The horror of living. Dramatic much? Not when you consider that in the space of a couple weeks a blogger I follow had a newborn son who died of a crazy rare heart problem or that in my tiny hometown a 3 year old shot himself to death with a found gun. I internalize things like this, empathize, put myself in the place of the parents. It drives me crazy. Leading to...

2) Crisis of faith. Now, crisis is a bit of an overstatement here. Over-analysis of faith may be more accurate. I've long had a complicated relationship with God and all matters of faith. Namely, how can an omnipotent God allow the situations above to happen? What is the purpose of it all and WHY should I trust such a being? And, I conclude, my God isn't omnipotent. I can't reconcile it. I believe God can give us strength to bear this life, but I don't believe that he can fix all the bad stuff and just chooses not to.

3) Time is passing. Though I haven't had to deal with back to school emotions, I've once again lived vicariously through all of the parent bloggers sending kids to kindergarten, high school, college. And I look at my little guy and realize that he's almost 2.5 and I never realized that 2.5-year-olds can sing so many songs, identify so many colors and shapes, hold conversations. My vision of a 2-year-old before I had one is what a 1-year-old really is. What I have now, I imagined in an late 3-year-old. Munch is growing up TOO FAST. Leading to...

4) Eddie Money. Namely, "I Wanna Go Back." This song slays me. I want so badly to hold my newborn Munchkin again, to swaddle him, to smell his newborn smell, to watch him learn to roll over and scoot and crawl. I wanna go back. And I fear that throughout Munch's whole life, this will be what I feel. Soooo....

5) I'm present. I breathe. I watch Munchkin do his newly mastered forward rolls and I high-5 him when he does something that he loves. I snuggle him in the mornings and dance with him in the evenings. I enjoy every smile and even, as much as possible, every meltdown. This is life. Here, right now. And I don't want to miss it for all my obsession with Big Thoughts.

In Honor of our Wedding Anniversary

Today is Hubs' and my 6th wedding anniversary! It was a beautiful June day in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, sunny but blazing hot. We met at Gettysburg College, and that's where we married--in Christ Chapel on the campus.

I often don't put as much weight on this anniversary as on our "relationship" (first date) anniversary in February--we've been together more than 11 years, and we've lived together for most of that time (story for another post), so it feels wrong to "discount" the first 5 years just because we weren't married.

But, that doesn't mean that our wedding day wasn't incredibly special, or that our marriage isn't something I cherish. So, in honor of that hot day on June 17, 2007, here are 5 of the best moments from  our wedding day.

1) The walk down the aisle.

a) Having both my parents walk me down the aisle was a very emotional experience for the three of us. My parents divorced when I was 16. One of my favorite things about my wedding day was my parents coming together and doing that walk for me and with me.

b) I didn't expect to be emotional. At all. But when I turned the corner down that extremely long aisle and saw Hubs standing at the head of it, I just lost it. I cried and cried the entire walk, sobbing, not just tearing up, but really blubbering. My parents really had to hold me up. Hubs said later that it looked like they were dragging me up to him.

2) Photos on the golf course. Our reception was The Links and they had golf carts for the wedding party to ride down to the greens and take pictures on the course. Though, again, it was blazing hot and we were exhausted by that time, we got some of the coolest pictures ever.

3) The speeches. My sisters (co-maids-of-honor) and Hubs' brother gave heartfelt, funny, and sweet speeches to us, and I still have the original copies they used.

4) Our cake. We were lucky enough to use Food Network's Duff Goldman before his show went on the air and before he exploded in popularity. He created a replica of Penn Hall, the centerpiece building on Gettysburg College's campus that predates the Civil War, and an Xbox 360 and controller for our groom's cake.

5) Dancing at the reception. Both sides of our families danced the evening away and it was awesome. Our DJ was perfect--we used a local guy who did weddings on the side and we gave him a CD of our requested songs, and that's all he played. It was quite literally one of the funnest times of my entire life. Everyone was in great spirits and I still think of it with warmth in my heart.

Our wedding day, in the end, was one of the best days of my life. I married a man I love wholly and completely. It was a day without any drama, chock full of happiness and blessings. I will be forever grateful for that.

5 Hilarious Things Munch Has Done Lately

My little 2-year-old is a ham and is also incredibly observant, which just amazes me daily. He's so sweet, and so cute, and I feel like he's just blossoming before our very eyes! Here are 5 recent examples.

1. Last night in the bath, Munch stuck an index finger in each nostril and widened his eyes at Hubs and me, then dissolved into fits of giggles. I'm sure our reactions (Gross!! *Raucous laughter*) didn't help.

2. Then, inexplicably, Munch started crying and saying "Foot! Foot!" We said, "What's wrong with your foot?" He said, "It's wet!" Devastated voice: "It's wet!" So he proceeded to cry and we proceeded to try to stifle laughter as we toweled him off.

3. This morning, he was lying next to me as we woke up and I was facing away from him. I was wearing an old Disney World t-shirt on the back of which is a big picture of Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends. Munch starts laughing and poking me in the back and I said, "That's Tigger!" and he said in a very scary low growl, "Rowrrrr."

4. He's starting to be able to tell me why he cries when I'm not there. It's mostly "Jabber jabber wah jabber bike jabber." Translation: "I cried because the bike is broken and I couldn't play with it." Awesome getting some two-way conversations going.

5. He ends his own fun time. We'll be out walking with him in the stroller, and it's his favorite thing ever, and suddenly he'll say, "House. Bye-bye stroller." And we'll head back to the house where he'll calmly get out of the stroller and go inside.

Okay, 6. We were playing on one of the normal wees and another boy was there. Munch hurried as fast as he could up the stairs, through the tube, down the slide, sprint around and start again, all the while looking over his shoulder for where this kid was. The competitive streak is presenting early.

I could go on and on, but I'm already over! I love this kid!

5 Munch Bright Spots

After 2 non-blogging weeks--which was the first time I failed at one of my New Year's Resolutions, to blog at least once a week--I'm putting up a post that fights against the relative bleakness that has been April 2013. There have been bright spots--not the least of which being our trip to the Eastern Shore to do Munch's 2-year pictures, and that post is tops of my list to write.

But there's also been bombings and explosions, ailing family cats (my sister's), egg-icide (I had to move a bird's nest from my front door and it had eggs in it FML), daycare pseudo-drama, mind-failing grandparents, and various other stresses that have made it a trying month.

BUT through it all Munch has remained the brightest, most amazing spot, as always. And here are 5 reasons why.

1) How he squeezes my nose and when I go "meep-meep-meep" he laughs hysterically.

2) How after his 2-hour ride in the Cozy Coupe yesterday afternoon, when he's woken up from sleep and immediately says, "Bye-bye car." He handled the end of the ride so maturely, saying "Nigh-nigh car" as I locked it back in our shed.

3) How he squeals with delight when he sees the "wee" (playground with slide) come into view.

4) How he "shopped" in our living room Saturday night, picking up every item he could find (his bottle, random socks, toys) and put them in his shopping cart, jabbering the whole time.

5) How he says "Daddy" in a tone I unfortunately can't describe adequately in writing, after Hubs swings him or tickles him or chases him. In that one word is delight, father-son collaboration, head-shaking "how can you be so silly" wonder, and love.

Munchkin Is 22 Months Old!

And only 2 months until he's 2!

All those 2s are appropriate--Munch has been practicing his "Terrible 2s" behavior! Lots of crying and screaming when he doesn't get his way. AND he's highly in tune to when Mommy and Daddy leave him. Distracting doesn't work so much right now. And he's getting three teeth at once, poor thing.

In honor of this month-birthday, here are 5 of my favorite things Munch does right now:

1) Sings. He has started singing the tune of some of his favorite songs. Some favorites: "yi-yi-oh" (Old MacDonald, e-i-e-i-o); parts of the ABCs; parts of Twinkle Twinkle; and, the highlight: the "la la la la la" part of Cobra Starship's "You Make Me Feel..."

2) Loves his friends--real and stuffed. He talks all the time about Co-Co, Arlee, and Jazzie from school, and he also loves to be surrounded by a growing band of stuffed animals. This stuffed love wins a special place in my heart because I was obsessed with stuffed animals as a kid and really, if I'm being honest, still am. His gang includes some old faves and new: Cow (pillow pal), Elfie, Monkey, Pooh, Puppy (from my grandma for Christmas), Dumbo (LOVES the huge ears and nose), Mouse (Steamboat Willie version of Mickey), Snoopy, and I'm trying to get him attached to Figment.

3) Asks to "ack": walk. He's just started this "ack" thing and pointing to the ground. Right now, he fakes you out that HE wants to walk when really he wants YOU to walk while carrying him. This is a short-lived transition step, I'm sure, and last Friday after Barnes & Noble, he walked holding my hand down the sidewalk almost all the way to the car.

4) Plays with my hair. Munch loves hair in general ("heee-ew"), but he especially loves to run his fingers through mine. He will lay drinking his bottle or going to sleep, fiddling with my hair. He sometimes likes when I have a "teee-ew" (tail--ponytail), but he most often will be like "No, no" until I let it fall to my shoulders.

5) Looks at pictures of the "baby." Which is of course himself. For many months, he's pointed out Daddy in pictures, then he included others, but now he's pointing to himself and saying "baby." I don't know if he realizes that the baby Mommy's holding in the picture is him (though I tell him so). But it's quite heart-warming either way.

5 Things That Happened Right After Munch's Birth

It's Munch's 19-month birthday! Hard to believe that 19 months ago my up-and-down-the-stairs toddler was just a little lump in a pink-and-blue hospital administered cap. After hearing the wretched birth story of a close family friend's new nephew, I thought in honor of this sort-of birthday, I'd do a 5 Things post about what happened immediately after Munch's delivery--things only me, my husband, OB, and a few other hospital staffers witnessed.

1) "What do we have?" Though I labored for over 24 hours, from the start of the induction process, I only had to push three times. In fact, I was shaking with the effort of "holding it in," clutching my husband's hands, as we waited for my OB to travel the 20 minutes to the hospital. Again, even in birth, Munch did things when he was good and ready and then, full tilt.

So after the third push, out the baby came. Hubs and I hadn't found out what the gender was, so we were waiting for the "movie" "It's a WHATEVER!" moment. Dr. J didn't say anything as she held the mewling babe. Through my sweaty haze, I asked, "What do we have?" and she said, "It's a boy."

2) Skin-to-skin. Then, Dr. J placed just-born Munch on my chest. They'd told me we probably wouldn't get to do this little ritual because of evidence of meconium in my water after it broke and they'd need to whisk him away to clear his lungs (or something?). But there he was. This tiny, red, wrinkled being. His eyes were wide open and he was looking right at me. His forehead was crinkled with the effort. And he had this look on his face like, "What the heck did I just go through?"

But we've also felt like Munch is an "old soul." He settled right into our family and the world from the start, like he was taking a place pre-appointed for him. And so, yes, in those first seconds, his eyes did look familiar and it was like he was seeing me for the first time but with a settled, you're-what-I've-been-waiting-for air. I found myself saying, "Oh my God," over and over. It's the first and only time I've ever held a miracle.

3) Thirst. Again, after about 32 hours in the labor process, and after an entire day of only having ice chips, I was parched. After I was stitched up (lovely) and Munch was screaming through his first bath and weigh-in and Hubs was following him around with a huge smile on his face, the nurse sat me up and gave me an ice-cold drink of half ginger ale and half cranberry juice. It was the most refreshing beverage I've ever had.

4) The naming. Hubs and I had a short list of three boys' names (though honestly, I can't remember one of them). Right after Munch was born, Hubs said not to say what name I was thinking yet. I knew which one I wanted. Luckily, we both thought the same thing when we met Munch.

5) The feeding. I was so nervous for the first breastfeeding. How would my body know anything needed to happen? How would this newborn baby know that he needed to do something? But he knew. With the nurse's help, Munch nursed. I'm trying to remember if he was laying across my lap or in what would become our preferred method (the football hold)--and I feel like he was laying across me that first time. His little lips, eyes still open. He was a natural, and, with his help, I became one too.

5 Things About This Week

Things have been busy, but good this week. I've also been scattered and not able to really focus on writing a post every day. So, here's sort of a weekly wrap up.

1) Munch is cutting another molar, on his right side this time. I think last night we hit the "writhing" place again and I'm sure it's either cut through now or it's close. Poor thing, we gave him Advil and he slept pretty well. I also feel like he's grown another 2 inches. He can now reach things on the edge of the counter, as I realized just in time as he reached for a knife I used to chop onion. Yikes. He also is waving for real now. A very deliberate twisting back and forth of the wrist. It's like he's practically disdainful as he looks at you  while doing it, but it's just him concentrating and getting the hang of it. So cute.

2) My MIL sent me an article about "the last time" things happen with your baby--the last time he crawled more than walked, the last time he wasn't bald, the last time he didn't have teeth. This post caused my mother to write her own ode to "last times" and my older sister to call me in paroxysms of sobs. I have somehow been able to keep the emotion at arm's length and look at it pragmatically: We all need the reminder that childhood is fleeting; these are the days we'll long for when our babies are sullen teens or beaming graduates. My mother in law once told me that parenthood is a series of letting gos and I could not agree more, and this article summed that up. It's sort of a pessimistic way of looking at things, but it's a hard truth we all need to acknowledge--it's the quintessential "live for the moment" lesson. Life, too, is fleeting. Don't look too far ahead or lament your current state.

3) I've been blowing it up on Twitter, I think. I have very much enjoyed connecting with other moms, especially other working moms, and I've gotten a couple of follows. It's a little absurd how happy this makes me.

4) I went to our building's gym TWICE. It was only for 20 minutes apiece, but I sweated a lot, and I told myself that 20 minutes are better than no minutes. I felt much better about myself.

5) I've been feeling quite light-hearted. This is not a natural feeling for me, and it's one that I regard with great wariness and suspicion. Sadly, whenever I feel quite good and light-hearted, I'm watching up ahead for the Thing That Will Tear Me Down. I'm trying to concentrate on just enjoying the feeling. This is what it's like when my hormones are even and I'm able to "control my mind."

5 Good Things About This Last Week

In lieu of my weekend wrapup, since I'm 4 days out from it, and because it's been so stressful with a sick kid at home, I give you 5 Good Things:

1) Hot Dog. Not the food, but the song. Munch is totally into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse now. He loves the Hot Dog Song, and we watch it on YouTube when it's not on TV. He dances and smiles, and it's so cute. (However, I've had it in my head for the past 10 hours, and it's driving me a little mad.)

2) Hugs and hair rubs. Munch is way into my hair right now. He'll wrap his arms around my neck and take clumps of it gently in his hands, like he's making a ponytail. It feels so sweet. He also will rub his face in it and smile.

3) Spending more time than usual with Munch. Although he's been sick, he has thankfully not been TERRIBLY sick. It's been nice cuddling and being with him much more than during a usual week.

4) Last night's sleep. He was in the crib from 9:30-2:30, then back in the crib from 3-8. Unprecedented these past few months.

5) A quiet weekend with just us (again). We had another no-plans weekend, and it was glorious until the fever struck. We went to our normal Panera Sunday, and Munch was happy throughout the meal, looking at his new Halloween books. It rained on Saturday and I opened the curtains to a rainbow. Oh, and we bought a freaking iMac!

5 Songs I Sing to Munch

In honor of Munch's 17-month birthday, here are 5 songs I sing to him:

1) "One of Us" by Joan Osbourne, "Glee" edition. One day when Munch was about 2 months old, he was fussy fussy and I couldn't get him to sleep. I turned on my Glee playlist and "One of Us" came on. I swayed him in front of our patio door, singing along, and he went out like a light. This is still one of my favorites.

2) "What Child Is This?" Christmas carol. Yes, I realize it's bizarre to sing a Christmas song in the middle of a humid summer. But this sort of just happened one night, when Munch was fighting sleep. I've always liked this song, and now I feel it's one of my favorites. The key is low enough that I don't feel completely idiotic singing it without musical accompaniment.

Being a mother has also given me a new appreciation for the song's story. As I sway my own baby in the dark, his head on my shoulder, my nose in his hair, I feel a connection to this mother in the stable, who is singing to a little baby who is primarily that to her--her beloved baby. I never fail to choke up as I reach the line, "Raise, raise the song on high, the Virgin sings her lullaby." It holds such a base-level innocence, the primal love of a mother for her son, before this baby embarks on such a journey as lies in store for him.

3) "Poor the Baby," my own made-up song. Speaking of bizarre, I'm known for making up weird songs and tunes with repetitive lyrics. Some of my past "greatest hits" include, "The Only Other Place I Know" (about an ice cream parlor near an old apartment of ours), "Let's Get in the Shower" and "This Doesn't Hurt at All" (sung in Maui to my red-headed husband after he got horribly sunburned sitting out by the pool under a thatch umbrella), and "I Put It Over There (But Now I Don't Know Where It Is)" both normal version and slow jazz.

(Weirded out yet?)

Anyway, so I made up a song on the fly to sing to Munch using words that just come into my head. It might go like: "Poor the baby, poor the little one, poor the everything and the all things and the one thing and the baby." Repeat. It's weird. I know. It gets weirder. I just string syllables together: "You're my munchkin, and my lumpkin, and my bumpkin, and the baby."

4) Veggie Tales Lullabyes. My mom gave us a CD of Veggie Tales lullabyes, and this was a go-to playlist for getting Munch to sleep when he was quite little. Usually, it only took the first 5 songs, which I got to know very well--Itsy Bitsy Spider, This Little Light of Mine, He's Got the Whole World in His Hands, etc. We still listen to that in particularly desperate moments, and sometimes I'll leave my iPhone in his room with the playlist on repeat.

5) "The Wheels on the Bus." This isn't a night-time song. This is an every-minute song. Munch will just turn his hands sometimes and that'll be his signal to sing. He loves it.

5 Things To Remember About my First Weight Loss

I'm in a place where I feel alternating states of hope and commitment and complete disillusion and depression over my apparent lack of getting my eating under control. I want to lose weight, I truly do. I just feel like it's a tall, impossible task that takes more energy than I have for it.

So, here are 5 things I need to remember from the time when I lost 100 (100!) pounds, starting at a much (MUCH!) higher weight.

1) Weight Watchers works. It does. When you follow the plan, you lose weight.

2) It took a whole, dedicated year to lose 100 pounds. It took 6 months to lose 70 pounds and another 6 months to lose the remaining 30. The remaining 30 is what I have to go, essentially, and those pounds will come off more slowly than my early weight.

3) I didn't work out at all until I was down to about 140. At all! And I lost weight. Not working out/being as active as I was before I got pregnant is not an excuse as to why my weight is not coming down. I know that it's healthy for me to be active, but that activity CAN come in the form of a nice walk with Munch.

4) I didn't eat chocolate for 3 months when I started Weight Watchers. Not a nibble! I understood my triggers then. Well, more than understood them, I avoided my triggers then. Now, I think I can manage them, and I don't think that is entirely accurate.

5) I wanted it more than anything back then. I made different choices--only eating out at Subway, going to meetings. I started Weight Watchers the first time before I ever kissed a boy or before I could ever shop in "normal" stores. Now, it's like I had it and I am impatient to get it back, but I'm not committed in the same way.

And now, a bonus 5 Things I need to accept in order to lose weight this time:

1) I must keep a food journal. Must. Especially if I don't go to meetings.

2) I will have to turn down things like a baguette or bagel from Panera or dessert or a dinner drink.

3) I am overweight. I am at risk for diabetes and heart disease, and I don't want these things to happen to me because I am a mother now.

4) I am Munch's greatest role model in all things, including food. If I want him to avoid the heartbreak of obesity, I must show him that it's good to eat healthfully.

5) It's not enough to want something. I have to take actions that will help me get it.

Personal Victory & 5 Things I'm Proud Of

Welcome to August. I have now officially blogged regularly for an entire month! That is more than ever before in my previous blogging attempts. Pride!

In honor of the milestone, I give you 5 Things I'm Proud Of

1) Munch. Is this too cliche for a mother to say? I don't care. I'm sure there are some mothers who aren't proud of or about their children. My pride for Munch is complex. I'm proud each time he crosses a developmental milestone. I'm proud when he drinks from his sippy. I'm proud when he doesn't cry when I drop him off at day care.

2) My mother-self. But I'm also proud of the mother I am. I didn't know how I would be at this mothering thing. Generally, I'm a pretty lazy person; I have to force myself to work out. I like to watch TV. I like to have quiet time. I like to sleep. These are all things that do not necessarily mesh with motherhood. But I was pleasantly surprised to find how every second I spend with Munch feels precious and full. I may not have a lot of "street smarts," math skills, or even common sense. But I am overflowing with love, and if nothing else, Munch will grow up knowing his mother loves him deeply and completely.

3) My marriage. (Hm, these things are all starting with M.) I haven't had the best models for marriage, in fact, marriage scared me for a long time. I could not love Hubs more 10 years into being with him. I feel we talk openly, respect each other, and still know how to laugh together. I hope this more than anything will help Munch to feel secure and like the world holds possibilities for wonder.

4) My evolving mindset. I'm working hard to stop feeling so anxious, guilty over things I have no control over, crazy for control, and judgmental of people who act differently from me. It's a process, and some days I do better than others. But I want this, badly, and I won't stop.

5) My work. Do I want to work outside the home full-time? No. Do I have to? Yes. Am I good at it? Yes. If I'm being honest, I find fulfillment in editing. I just wish I could find that fulfillment for 20 hours a week.

Here's to more personal growth and taking pride in every accomplishment, big, small, round, or tall.

5 Things I Remember About the Hospital

In honor of the Munchkin's 16-month birthday:

1) Hubs and I were quite unhurried checking into the maternity ward, likely because it was a scheduled induction and I wasn't huffing and puffing with contractions in a wheelchair. But it was still striking--just like checking in for any other procedure. Only we would take home a new person when this was all over.

2) I slept almost not at all that night. We arrived at 6pm on a Sunday, I ate Chipotle that Hubs brought from across the street, and the nurse put in the gel to do its work overnight. It was pretty quiet for a while, and I remember thinking we must be the only ones on the ward. Then, the screams started through the wall, a reminder that this was not a place for rest, but labor.

3) It's a good thing I didn't have a baby heart monitor at homeduring my pregnancy. I watched the screen constantly, making sure that the line didn't go above or below the "normal" zone.

4) I was grateful when the night nurse who took care of me the first night came back as I was still lying there the second, as my labor was heating up. I didn't like the day nurse and I think my birth experience would have been much different if she was the one who helped deliver Munch.

5) Hope and excitement. And, of course, anxiety. I couldn't wait to meet the baby. And we'd come this far, and gotten so close, that I didn't want anything to go wrong. It took over 24 hours, but all was well and we had a beautiful baby boy at 2:32am on Tuesday.

5 Things I Miss About Pregnancy

Especially now that I know the little being who eventually graced us with his presence:

1) Feeling him move. It was a comfort on a practical level, since his movement is the only day-to-day reassurance pregnant women have that all is well in there. But it was also comforting on an emotional level--I enjoyed knowing that I was never truly alone during that time. He was sharing my space.

2) Holding my hand on my belly. I loved to sit at my desk with my palm splayed across my hard stomach. This is the universal sign of a pregnant woman. I felt like I was holding him, maybe resting my hand on his tiny rump as he snoozed. Sometimes, I find myself sitting that way now, and I quickly move my hand away, lest any passers-by get the wrong idea.

3) Ultrasounds. These little windows into another realm were treats that we received more frequently than many of my pregnant friends for reasons I still don't quite understand. We seemed to have an ultrasound every 3 weeks. The most amazing ones: seeing the baby (Munch!) suck his thumb and watching him flail his arms and legs. Of course, me being me, the moments at the start of the ultrasound, before the familiar whir-whir-whir of the heartbeat came through, were terrifying. But that made the payoff of seeing his little face that much sweeter.

4) Buying stuff. I love to buy stuff as a rule, but buying baby and nursery stuff was purposeful and necessary. Okay, maybe not everything was necessary. But going to Great Beginnings and looking at furniture and bathroom stuff and feeding stuff was wonderful, even those many times when we left without buying anything because we were so overwhelmed by it all.

5) The anticipation. Pregnancy is a magical time. Anything is possible. That little lump is anyone. Hubbaland and I talked about name possibilities for hours. We wondered dozens of things at once. Will he be a massive, 10-pound baby with a huge head? (We thought so, right up until he popped out at 6 pounds, 15 ounces with a very normal head, thank you very much.) Will he be a she? (I still think Dr. J spilled the beans at 24-ish weeks, but Hubbaland doesn't.) Will he have red hair? (We think so.) The anticipation in hindsight is infinitely sweeter knowing the wonderful baby we were blessed with that day. Well, the wee hours of that night.