I am a perpetual goal setter. I get fired up at the start of the year and at the start of each month. Heck, even a Monday can get me fired up for the potential "clean slate" of a new week.
Some of my goals, I achieve. Others, I don't. Do I sometimes feel disappointed in myself? Yes. But that doesn't stop me from setting more goals.
It has become common for women on social media to say, "Stop looking to constantly improve yourself. Love yourself as you are. You are perfect as you are. Don't set resolutions. You don't need to change to be happy."
And I get that. I do. I get that women have a tendency to berate themselves and to say "if only THIS was different, I could be happy." I get that people don't live "in the moment."
But. I am not perfect as I am, not really. For the past couple years, I have had high cholesterol and high blood pressure. These metrics are both driven by my weight. I need to lose weight for health reasons. I can only lose weight by setting goals, sticking to a plan, and monitoring what I do. All the time. If I stop, I eat thousands of calories and watch TV instead of moving. That is who I was as a kid. That is who I was as a teen. That is what is in my genes.
When I read the messages saying you don't need to change--just be happy, my little mind a) is ashamed about my penchant for goal setting, and b) turns toward FOOD FOOD FOOD. "That's great, I can eat all the things, all the time." It sets me up for for making unhealthy choices and for perhaps getting more chronic health problems later on.
I am not saying that I shouldn't "love myself as I am" IN ADDITION TO making healthy choices. For me, that is a CHANGE. I need to CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR to live the most fulfilling life I can. And that behavior change will lead to a mind/body change. And I feel like the "body positive," "love yourself as you are" movements diminish that.
I may be the only one who feels shamed by the DON'T RESOLVE TO DO ANYTHING culture. And no, many resolutions don't stick. However, in January 2001, I entered a Weight Watchers room, at the HEIGHT of resolution season. I was what gym-goers and "regulars" at WW disparagingly call a "resolutioner." A faker taking up space for a few weeks.
But. By January of 2002, I'd lost 100 pounds. Some resolutions stick. And some change your life.
